I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
