Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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