fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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