Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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