North Korea, Best Korea!
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
