Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
