Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
