Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize