I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize