you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize