I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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