She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
