dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Panties = found
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
