you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
