I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm at about main and main street
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
