so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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