It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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