Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i already hear my dad disowning me
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
