i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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