Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
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