hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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