The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Randomize
