can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize