hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
