Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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