just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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