Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
