I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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