i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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