I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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