Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
