In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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