one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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