drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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