She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
