We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
