i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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