I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
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