Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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