i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize