She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
