That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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