I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
