He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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