She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize