Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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