The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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