she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
