all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
