Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
