Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
