his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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