talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
