is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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