My pussy is not your playground.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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