do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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