Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
