do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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