I am puke
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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