I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize